Motivation coaching and talks, along with personal growth and awakening are pretty awfully blown up phenomena nowadays. In particular, they sometimes can be very harmful. Here is my view on why and what to do if you feel that you are trapped in a motivational whirlpool. This article might be useful for teenagers who are still building their view on the matter of things often being exposed to misleading info and for those who feel that they are not in the place they would want to be.
As per Merriam Webster's dictionary, motivation is defined as the act of process of motivating (very self-explanatory already), the condition of being motivated, or a motivating force, stimulus, or influence. Hence, the goal of the motivational training is to supply a receiver with some momentum to perform a certain action (for example, start waking up at 5 AM, start a business, start making six-figures this year, eat healthy, do sports, and so on). On the one hand, it is a very much benevolent act of giving a positive enforcement to a person in need. However, in some circumstances it can exacerbate the insecurities and lead to anxiety if approached incorrectly.
Brief Negativity Passage
1. The root of the problem is that a person who is giving a motivational speech is most likely an established, wealthy individual speaking from a height of the years of hard labor, broken expectations, failures, along with some good decisions that led to that point of success. However, in the minds of the listeners, all these circumstances collapse on the time axis as they are only exposed to the beautiful end result. And even pictures from the series "Before and After" do not look convincing enough. as we cannot experience each others' daily lives in their fullness. You become a consumer of a fairytale about a poor guy who was struggling, struggling, kept struggling, and struggling, and became a king. To make this fruitful, you probably need to be already somewhere on the path having practical narrow questions.
2. Another part of the issue is that we often stumble upon the content that we are not truly, sincerely associating with, as well as with a misleading content. For instance, there are popular cliché pictures of a beautiful life. There are sleek-looking guys who seem to party 24/7, never experiencing sobriety, yet making a tremendous amount of money. There are girls with "perfect" proportions who sell their detox powders, beauty remedies, and other chemistry and live in mansions with the ocean view performing booty-pumping workouts. There are expats who quit their "routine" and now live in paradise doing nothing, but yoga, vegan food consumption (and excretion), and surfing. They might tell you that "The secret of my success is a vision board and self-love" or something like that, but they won't tell you that their parents (or perhaps a sugar daddy /wink) worked their ass off to make sure their kids won't. Additionally, do you ever think a step further about how such life would fit specifically YOU? Looking at the party when you are sitting alone at home doing nothing and even not having a proper outfit for getting in might cause envy, but imagine a permanent feeling of hangover, switched day and night, promiscuous attitude, fake friends, and this all happens routinely. Not that attractive anymore huh?
Back to Reality
Intense motivational trainings can seemingly supply you with energy to go and do something huge. However, there is no such thing as a momentary success. What you should do is to first of all look at your life and what you are currently investing your time into and, most importantly, think of what you could be doing every single day. Understanding it is the key to your personal success. The simplest and very relatable example is dieting. You can wake up and decide that those 10 pounds on your butt are not yours and spend a week munching exclusively on cucumbers and see how along with weight (and vital nutrients) you lose any desire to ever touch cucumbers again. Or you can dig into the reason why you have those pounds and what you are not doing to be in your prime, and gradually work your way towards more suitable shape.
Now, my story. When I took a two-year long art pause I really felt like my life was a total trash, even though I was well-performing on a scientific side. I was blaming everything for everything and the only solution for me to feel complete was to resume doing my painting again! So, I started doing something little for my art project every day to improve and expand it and now it has been more than six months at this point. It filled in the gaps in the timeline and let me feel incredibly productive and energized. It also inspired me to seek exposure and start communicating and sharing something with people. The difference in a world perception was incredible: from feeling rented out to perform some daily tasks I evolved into a person who is building a name and a brand based on all of my daily achievements. It feels like success, despite the fact that I cannot brag about my paycheck yet (I would not anyways). And I did not need to listen to a single guy who built an obscure business that I have no concern about in order to simply incorporate something fruitful and enjoyable into my daily life. In contrary, I could have woken up one day six months ago and get motivated to become a million-dollar artist in a week (out of nowhere, aha). I would secrete some adrenaline, send my modest portfolio to the galleries and museums, get denials, and would crash from the height of my adrenaline rush down to "I am nothing, I am worthless, I don't know how my fingers even allow themselves to touch a brush, white canvas is better than a canvas with my painting on it" (maybe these statements are actually true, but I don't care). Then, I would go through the accounts of the well-know artists and decide that I hate fine arts. With this in mind, I really believe that gradual motion enabled by enjoying your daily activities is much more fruitful than high expectations and self-sabotage.
If in turn you feel like your life is trash, first of all try critically assessing the validity of this statement and look at how adequate the standard of goodness you are comparing your life against is. If you still come to conclusion that it is trash, try examining your skillset and interests. It might happen that you realize that you are simply underworked. My problem is that when I am not spending enough of my energy I become furious and start creating artificial issues, so it might be that you also sit on a treasure chest filled with an incredible vital power. I would suggest that you try getting a second job or start some low-investment project that has a potential for networking and capitalization. It is highly unlikely that such hobby as studying Zimbabwe dialects that got initiated after hearing a folk song would be a long-term love, so I would suggest being practical and reasonable (do not buy full series of collectible Zimbabwe poetry books and rare student books with a three-month lead time right away). At the same time, try seeking support in surrounding people who will be actively interested in your progress and will be saying "Wow" from time to time.
And in the end, advice #0. Do not compare your success with the success of some beauty from out there that started her cosmetics brand. That flawless diva might be gladly receiving generous donations from her parents' deposits and real estate payback having nothing in her life that really belongs to her.